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Voices from the CAVE

MAP OF My Country

Let Me make this perfectly clear!

THIS IS MY COUNTRY!

And, because I make This statement DOES NOT Mean I'm against immigration!!!

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE IN MY COUNTRY

Welcome To come through legally.

Get A sponsor!

Get A place to lay your head!

Get A job!

Live By OUR Rules!

Pay YOUR Taxes!

And

LEARN THE LANGUAGE LIKE

IMMIGRANTS HAVE IN THE PAST!!!

AND PLEASE DON'T DEMAND THAT WE HAND OVER OUR

LIFETIME SAVINGS OF SOCIAL SECURITY FUNDS TO YOU..

THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NEVER EVEN PAID TAXES OR CONTRIBUTED IN ANY WAY TO THE SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

When will AMERICANS STOP giving away THEIR RIGHTS???

We've Gone so far the other way.... bent over backwards not to Offend Anyone.

But it seems no one cares about the AMERICAN CITIZEN that's being offended!

WAKE UP America !!!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away."

Berta

This was posted in Craig's List Personals, true or not, who knows: Posted to Craig's List Personals:

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-03-23, 3:43 AM EST

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.

I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.

You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?

It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation.. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.

I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the driver’s side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.

I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat. (I guess while he traced the number).

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky..

Italian Golfer

A 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up.

The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

'I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape.

I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.

I have a wee glass of wine, and all is well.'

'Well,' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it.

How old was your Dad when he died?'

'Who said my Dad's dead?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?'

'He's 100 years old,' says the old Italian golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had another wine and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too.'

'

Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's dad? How old was he when he died?'

'Who said my grandad's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'

'He's 118 years old,' says the old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'

'No. Grandad couldn't go this mornin' because he's getting married today.'

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married?? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?'